I am kind of pissed off with how my life treats me.
I say to my Dear I am happy, he says " how can you say you are happy when you are always angry with something" (I am angry with the fact that he disbelieves my comment about being happy)
I hate to be distrusted (for no reason), it makes me feel wronged, trapped.
I say I love him, he gives me a wriggly body language, another one of those i-don't-think-you-mean-what-you-say kind of behaviour, almost like saying " don't lie and pretend you love me just so that you will get my love". I know it's kind of cunning to be acusing him like this as well, but can you imagine the hurt I felt when I am at the receiving end of such lousy body language. And when confronted days later, he said " I was just joking with you with that gesture and trying to be funny about your saying " I love you". WTH!
Another ironic thing, as an agreement to be a more guai girl, I compromised, stop asking or even expecting him to do what he don't like (like dine with my parents, which the thought of it gives him headache, the way gamelan music does to him) and he likes to stay within his house, fine! I gave in, didn't care what my mum had to comment about unmarried, unengaged girls spending huge amount of time at their bf's. I hung out in his house, it is unfair you know, making myself go into his territory where I am most unsafe in a sense. Yes, he says he appreciates it and can see the change (when I forcefully ask him did he realise)... Now I am feeling like this:
He doesn't want commitment: no no to anything to do with settling down, ROM, marriage. But on the other hand, he wants (or prefers) it that I am happy spending time as if I am part of the family. You want me to behave like I am part of the family ( and thankfully the family doesnt seem to have objections about that, providing dinner and letting me in the house) and yet it is so clearly stated that I will never be your family (married wife), at least not anytime soon. I feel so frustrated! Isn't it selfish, trying to kill two birds with one stone? He can behave like a goody boy, spends most of the week with his family, while I have to spend time with his family so that it can be counted as he having spent time with me? I mean if there's a payoff of a possible upcoming wedding then there is a dateline to the "suffering", it'll just be an endless wait.
Egoistic Singaporean Men!
I tried to bring up this point, he says he just wants to keep things simple and why can't I just not think too much and just keep things simple? Isn't it already far enough I have compromised? I ask if he wants to join me for a meal, he needs to think for hours and have to wait till the very last minute then tell me his decision and I'll have to dine alone since it's too late to ask anyone else so impromtu... Argh!@#$%^ what's wrong with this little boy? can he grow up?
A site of fictious posts, therefore no material on this site should be used as evidence against me or otherwise.
Monday, December 22, 2008
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Things I never did...
I was arrogant and proud, and thought of that as confidence instead.
Recently being more alone than usual, I have picked up reading again. I realised I always start thigns off enthusiastically, and never quite finish them off as nicely as they could have been. One of the things that I regretted not doing was to be reading books on relationships--- I only read those teaching you how to get a guy, but I took it for granted that when the guy is with me I can have the best of worlds (if he loves me enough)... and I never take much effort to maintain the relationship, I never read any of those " how to stay together in a relationship" kind of books. Now I am in deep regret.
I am not regretting and not doing anything, I read randomly about anything that can make me change for a better person. I read a book about fengshui and clearing clutter, and got so enthusiatic about clearing my whole house because the bok says it can help with targeted asects of our lives : I want to improve my relationship with Dear. Also it can help with career and job is what I need and have been doing wrongly.... I worked hard until I was so tired to be considerate of Dear's needs, and I kept saying I am working hard because of him, he didn't like my not having a stable permanent job. Wrong! saying those made him stress that he is the cause for my unhappiness (Actually I feel bliss to have that aim to work hard so that we may eventually be together and I don't want him to slog his life out for me) He has read my messages wrongly and giving himself unnecessary stress. We both need to learn to communicate better.
Another book I read 101 things to do to find, be in and keep love. It pointed out that we should negotiate expectations to make sure we have a common aim to work towards in this relationship. Another thing learnt which I didn't even think of: there are things we wish there is someone we can do with, there are thigns we want to do only with our partner (or a particular non-partner) and there are things that we will only want to do by ourselves alone. We need to identify those needs of our partner and allow them to go out to carry out their favourite pastime on their own if they choose to, without feeling insecure. It would be even better if you can communicate that you wish to do certain things only by yourself. I didn't know that and I always make Dear so stress for clinging and wanting to follow him where he goes and do what he does. And he compromises and make himself upset and doesn't let me know. I now must find out what are the things he wants to do alone, when and i must tweak and fine-tune my approach to dating him.
Recently being more alone than usual, I have picked up reading again. I realised I always start thigns off enthusiastically, and never quite finish them off as nicely as they could have been. One of the things that I regretted not doing was to be reading books on relationships--- I only read those teaching you how to get a guy, but I took it for granted that when the guy is with me I can have the best of worlds (if he loves me enough)... and I never take much effort to maintain the relationship, I never read any of those " how to stay together in a relationship" kind of books. Now I am in deep regret.
I am not regretting and not doing anything, I read randomly about anything that can make me change for a better person. I read a book about fengshui and clearing clutter, and got so enthusiatic about clearing my whole house because the bok says it can help with targeted asects of our lives : I want to improve my relationship with Dear. Also it can help with career and job is what I need and have been doing wrongly.... I worked hard until I was so tired to be considerate of Dear's needs, and I kept saying I am working hard because of him, he didn't like my not having a stable permanent job. Wrong! saying those made him stress that he is the cause for my unhappiness (Actually I feel bliss to have that aim to work hard so that we may eventually be together and I don't want him to slog his life out for me) He has read my messages wrongly and giving himself unnecessary stress. We both need to learn to communicate better.
Another book I read 101 things to do to find, be in and keep love. It pointed out that we should negotiate expectations to make sure we have a common aim to work towards in this relationship. Another thing learnt which I didn't even think of: there are things we wish there is someone we can do with, there are thigns we want to do only with our partner (or a particular non-partner) and there are things that we will only want to do by ourselves alone. We need to identify those needs of our partner and allow them to go out to carry out their favourite pastime on their own if they choose to, without feeling insecure. It would be even better if you can communicate that you wish to do certain things only by yourself. I didn't know that and I always make Dear so stress for clinging and wanting to follow him where he goes and do what he does. And he compromises and make himself upset and doesn't let me know. I now must find out what are the things he wants to do alone, when and i must tweak and fine-tune my approach to dating him.
Sunday, December 7, 2008
Clearing Clutter part 2
I have been throwing away a lot of things, mainly because I want to clear up my life, and remove memories, keep my house clean. I am still unsatisfied by the space I have, so I intend to clear up more space, thus I am still going around trying to source out as much as I can throw away.
So my friends, if you are looking for something, I am willing to give them to you for free, trust me! You just have to say.
My rooms are definitely more spacious, more clear of clutter, I can feel more breeze coming through. That is indeed a good feeling. And I planned to be dsciplined to keep it that way for as long as I can. Maintaining is always easier than to do a major spring clean every end of the year. If I want system and order in my life, it'd have to start from my room where I spend most of my time in.
I wish Dear's life will be smooth too from 2009 onwards. Fluctuations and variations giving rise to more opportunities is good, but too much or too large an amplitude of it can cause one to have a sea-sick feeling in the pit of our tummies. I figured that... So I guess behaving cool would probably be the most comfortable for young people in their twenties and early thirties.
I look forward to a better 2009.
So my friends, if you are looking for something, I am willing to give them to you for free, trust me! You just have to say.
My rooms are definitely more spacious, more clear of clutter, I can feel more breeze coming through. That is indeed a good feeling. And I planned to be dsciplined to keep it that way for as long as I can. Maintaining is always easier than to do a major spring clean every end of the year. If I want system and order in my life, it'd have to start from my room where I spend most of my time in.
I wish Dear's life will be smooth too from 2009 onwards. Fluctuations and variations giving rise to more opportunities is good, but too much or too large an amplitude of it can cause one to have a sea-sick feeling in the pit of our tummies. I figured that... So I guess behaving cool would probably be the most comfortable for young people in their twenties and early thirties.
I look forward to a better 2009.
Friday, December 5, 2008
Clearing Clutter
I need to re-arrange my life's priority, have begun doing that since late October. Now I decide to really e disciplined and do a planned revamp and cleanup.
I am going to start off (which I have already been doing) by throwing things I don't need from my bedroom and study. Then I will clean off the dust and dirt. Finally I will set things in places or re-organise the space to keep things neat (and hopefuly stick to the habit of maintaining them). That shall be set.
I shall go around and look for things to throw and start a bit of cleaning up today.
Meanwhile, I am also reorganising my work life, targetting to take in 3 more tuition students to fit around my time so I'll get some pocket money while I look for new directions in job.
I am having fun and shining bright in the CIDTT course, I am loving myself more. I am so proud of the correct work I have ben contributing. ;)
I am going to start off (which I have already been doing) by throwing things I don't need from my bedroom and study. Then I will clean off the dust and dirt. Finally I will set things in places or re-organise the space to keep things neat (and hopefuly stick to the habit of maintaining them). That shall be set.
I shall go around and look for things to throw and start a bit of cleaning up today.
Meanwhile, I am also reorganising my work life, targetting to take in 3 more tuition students to fit around my time so I'll get some pocket money while I look for new directions in job.
I am having fun and shining bright in the CIDTT course, I am loving myself more. I am so proud of the correct work I have ben contributing. ;)
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Chat
11:55pmCandy
i went to pray initially(i m not a temple gg person) then slowly his mum knew abt it, maybe it's my being too sensitive, i was at his house when she asked someone to "look at the fengshui"
11:55pmSherina
but there is nothing to throw away.
11:55pmCandy
then shifted things ard, i felt liek they'll measure me and tell him i m a jinx...
11:55pmSherina
except i will be spring cleaning my computer tomorrow.
11:55pmCandy
oh well, then i pretended i m not affected
then she sent a weird sms
11:55pmSherina
what?!?!
she what?!?!
say you are a jinx?!?!?
WHAT?
11:56pmCandy
his mum said " xintian dun ask him 'how r u', cos i went temple they say cannot ask"
she didnt say i m a jinx
11:56pmSherina
ok
good.
11:56pmCandy
i just felt insecure that they (supposedly know abt these superstitious thing) can claim i m (According to their std) a ad omen
i just was v angry
11:57pmSherina
that's stupid.
11:57pmCandy
how can anyone stop another from salutation?
11:57pmSherina
then you shouldn't date him.
idiots.
asking how someone is is concern!
like i ask my friends.....how are you?
how was your day?
11:57pmCandy
so i told her i dun like gg temple to ask for specific help because i m scared ppl will say i m a bad girl
11:57pmSherina
how was work today.
11:57pmCandy
then she replied"nonsense, dun listen"
11:57pmSherina
erm......you are far from bad girl.
11:58pmCandy
i was so angry i replied her " aunty when we go pray dont we want our life to become better, so we do what they say? for eg, not to ask how are u?"
11:58pmSherina
ya
11:58pmCandy
she is just slapping herself in her own fac
11:58pmSherina
and what did she say?!?
11:58pmCandy
and i m just too honest to tell her that
11:58pmSherina
i think that's silly.
11:58pmCandy
she stopped sms-ing totally
11:58pmSherina
are you sure you like the guy so much?
weird people.
what kind of logic is that?
11:59pmCandy
then i called alan and chatted on the phone like nothing happened btwn me and her
i told him that she sent me a sms which i cant understand and when i asked her she said " it was nothing"
12:00amSherina
and?
Today
12:00amCandy
i called to clarified (i suppose it's another temple say cant ask) she said " oh nothing, i just want to tell u wat i wrote on the sms(which is what i cant understand!)
she is weird
12:00amSherina
what temple is this?!?!
12:01amCandy
so i tot, since she into fengshui, i'd better at read read for some general knowledge in case they use it against me, like what i said they can make it up
so i found the spring cleaning book which makes sense
12:01amSherina
haha
12:01amCandy
it was an angmoh girl who wrote it, she says things like " not only fengshui, but it does make u feel better when u dun see a whole chunk of clutter in your house"
12:01amSherina
sorry my thing just closed by itself.
12:02amCandy
nvm
i m just rattling
12:02amSherina
ya........it helps me to throw stuff out when i am unhappy.
i do that all the time.....ramble......
haha ;)
i am sorry to hear that.
just make sure you really like him if you are going through all these ok?
12:02amCandy
i dun throw out, i just look at that and think if i throw out i may never get to see it again
yeah
i think his dad is more supportive
though quietly supportive
at least the dad doesnt behave fickle minded like the mum
12:03amSherina
sigh.
do you really like him?
you must since you are so caring
right?
12:05amCandy
i think he makes a stable husband, in that he just keeps life gg without being bothered with outside stuffs... but he sure is a lousy bf cos he isnt bothered with outside stuff
eg, ppl say he dun give present to me dun bother him
12:05amSherina
aiyo
you are very strong.
12:06amCandy
but it means if we were married, i just get his daily nec done and i m all free
12:06amSherina
i hope my husband will dote on me lots and lots
Today
12:12am
Sherina realizes that she rambles a lot..... :( maybe that's why all her students seem to love chatting with her?!?
11:44pmCandy
hey
11:44pmSherina
hi! :)
so fast :)
just showered.
11:44pmCandy
not slp yet?
11:44pmSherina
haha
11:44pmCandy
u take longer to shower rme?
11:44pmSherina
nah.........
11:44pmCandy
haha
:P
11:44pmSherina
ya......haven't you noticed already.....haha ;)
i shower very very long.
11:45pmCandy
haha
if i have a tub i will bathe v long though
i can soak in a tub for hours when i m abroad
11:45pmSherina
I have no bath tub sigh ;)
so you are teaching tomrorow?
11:46pmCandy
yeah
morning
9.30
which isnt early by my standards
i wake up at ard 7 am everyday
11:46pmSherina
wow you are really disciplined :)
11:46pmCandy
so i can do a little of serious stuff(as opposed to now, i m just relaxing in front of the comp
well, that happens when u grow up ur childhood with a mum who buys enuff canes to put one in each room
11:47pmSherina
haha so cute ;)
11:47pmCandy
and she will say, so u want me to use which colour(the handle of the cane is a coloured plastic
11:48pmSherina
wow......at least you have a choice.....huh?
;)
11:48pmCandy
yeah
i think she is so funny
11:49pmSherina
i have bad memory........i don't remember a lot of my childhood
just study study study
nerd nerd ;)
sigh.
you know my parents are happy we broke up :)
at least :)
11:49pmCandy
so u've done sth proud
11:50pmSherina
they say that they can tell that the guy is just too can't be bothered.
11:50pmCandy
yeah
they always side with us
cos we are their creation
11:50pmSherina
and they say that the parents probably don't like me because we live in hdb
sigh.
they live in landed.
11:50pmCandy
hmm...
11:50pmSherina
somewhere near 6th ave
oh well.
i am ok
11:51pmCandy
but dwelling is not nec an indication of wealth and status
11:51pmSherina
but i hope prince charming comes soon.
but his mother is really into the face thing.
11:51pmCandy
but how did u break up
u said he did lousy stuf
11:51pmSherina
i talked to him
11:51pmCandy
so u really said it straight?
11:51pmSherina
he didn't do anything lousy.
ya....he just didn't do anything.
period
i said it straight.
11:52pmCandy
i mean not doing anything is doing lousy thing
not doing is an action
ok whatever
hmm..
11:52pmSherina
unfortunately i am too straight and honest
that's the way i did it.
11:52pmCandy
but i m straight and honest too
11:52pmSherina
i kind of reasoned it out.
like because A then B
something like that.
11:52pmCandy
but i dun understand why my straight and honest still ends me twinning ard
11:52pmSherina
and you know.......he agreed with me!
aiyo.
11:53pmCandy
i m recently into fengshui
11:53pmSherina
isn't that exasperating.
he really didn't do anything.
i believe in fate.
11:53pmCandy
just to make myself have some non-logical logic to follow
11:53pmSherina
i hope fate says that prince charming will be here soon.
11:54pmCandy
so the first book i borrowed from library is called clear ur clutter with fengshui, it makes me motivated to just throw almost efverything away without feeling sad to waste
11:54pmSherina
you are so cute
i do that when i am upset.
haha my little secret.
haha ;)
11:55pmCandy
i went to pray initially(i m not a temple gg person) then slowly his mum knew abt it, maybe it's my being too sensitive, i was at his house when she asked someone to "look at the fengshui"
11:55pmSherina
but there is nothing to throw away.
11:55pmCandy
then shifted things ard, i felt liek they'll measure me and tell him i m a jinx...
11:55pmSherina
except i will be spring cleaning my computer tomorrow.
11:55pmCandy
oh well, then i pretended i m not affected
then she sent a weird sms
11:55pmSherina
what?!?!
she what?!?!
say you are a jinx?!?!?
WHAT?
11:56pmCandy
his mum said " xintian dun ask him 'how r u', cos i went temple they say cannot ask"
she didnt say i m a jinx
11:56pmSherina
ok
good.
11:56pmCandy
i just felt insecure that they (supposedly know abt these superstitious thing) can claim i m (According to their std) a ad omen
i just was v angry
11:57pmSherina
that's stupid.
11:57pmCandy
how can anyone stop another from salutation?
11:57pmSherina
then you shouldn't date him.
idiots.
asking how someone is is concern!
like i ask my friends.....how are you?
how was your day?
11:57pmCandy
so i told her i dun like gg temple to ask for specific help because i m scared ppl will say i m a bad girl
11:57pmSherina
how was work today.
11:57pmCandy
then she replied"nonsense, dun listen"
11:57pmSherina
erm......you are far from bad girl.
11:58pmCandy
i was so angry i replied her " aunty when we go pray dont we want our life to become better, so we do what they say? for eg, not to ask how are u?"
11:58pmSherina
ya
11:58pmCandy
she is just slapping herself in her own fac
11:58pmSherina
and what did she say?!?
11:58pmCandy
and i m just too honest to tell her that
11:58pmSherina
i think that's silly.
11:58pmCandy
she stopped sms-ing totally
11:58pmSherina
are you sure you like the guy so much?
weird people.
what kind of logic is that?
11:59pmCandy
then i called alan and chatted on the phone like nothing happened btwn me and her
i told him that she sent me a sms which i cant understand and when i asked her she said " it was nothing"
12:00amSherina
and?
Today
12:00amCandy
i called to clarified (i suppose it's another temple say cant ask) she said " oh nothing, i just want to tell u wat i wrote on the sms(which is what i cant understand!)
she is weird
12:00amSherina
what temple is this?!?!
12:01amCandy
so i tot, since she into fengshui, i'd better at read read for some general knowledge in case they use it against me, like what i said they can make it up
so i found the spring cleaning book which makes sense
12:01amSherina
haha
12:01amCandy
it was an angmoh girl who wrote it, she says things like " not only fengshui, but it does make u feel better when u dun see a whole chunk of clutter in your house"
12:01amSherina
sorry my thing just closed by itself.
12:02amCandy
nvm
i m just rattling
12:02amSherina
ya........it helps me to throw stuff out when i am unhappy.
i do that all the time.....ramble......
haha ;)
i am sorry to hear that.
just make sure you really like him if you are going through all these ok?
12:02amCandy
i dun throw out, i just look at that and think if i throw out i may never get to see it again
yeah
i think his dad is more supportive
though quietly supportive
at least the dad doesnt behave fickle minded like the mum
12:03amSherina
sigh.
do you really like him?
you must since you are so caring
right?
12:05amCandy
i think he makes a stable husband, in that he just keeps life gg without being bothered with outside stuffs... but he sure is a lousy bf cos he isnt bothered with outside stuff
eg, ppl say he dun give present to me dun bother him
12:05amSherina
aiyo
you are very strong.
12:06amCandy
but it means if we were married, i just get his daily nec done and i m all free
12:06amSherina
i hope my husband will dote on me lots and lots
12:06amCandy
i cook, he'll eat
12:06amSherina
and we'll do stuff together.
12:06amCandy
u know, he doesnt seem like some who'll refuse to eat just because its not their style
12:06amSherina
haha ;)
you have it all figured out i guess.
12:06amCandy
i cook, he'll eat
12:06amSherina
and we'll do stuff together.
12:06amCandy
u know, he doesnt seem like some who'll refuse to eat just because its not their style
12:06amSherina
haha ;)
you have it all figured out i guess.
12:07amCandy
and he seems like the kind who dun need me to do everything tgt
eg, i dun even think i need to tell him to buy household nec thing
12:07amSherina
you are so independent.
12:07amCandy
i think if i just mention say rice is
finishing, prolly he'll just buy it
u know what i mean
12:07amSherina
wow
12:08amCandy
i cant stand it if a guy who is a gd bf, when u are maried all he knows is still going out with u and playing,
12:08amSherina
ya
12:08amCandythen he isnt aware we need more toothpaste in the house
12:08amSherina
that's bad
12:08amCandy
then v sad right?
12:08amSherina
very
so have to marry the right person or divorce.
Candy
he may not b a v sensitive(At least he is super weak in showing it out), i think he is a highly pragmatc and functional person
12:09amSherina
that's good :) especially if it works for you. everyone needs different things from marriage and relationships :)
12:10amCandy
i saw his gd points being a husband, the
problem is, he doesnt make himself a husband
12:10amSherina
haha
so cute
you are so logical
12:11amCandy
i always think, if u are a lousy bf, and can very possibly be a gd husband, why not stop being a lousy bf and quickly go be a husband,
as soon as u've checked things out and confirmed they are fine, dun need to check, and double check so many times when such things ( like my qualities) dun change much within hours or days
12:12amSherina
he is so not confident of himself
i think you would make a great wife
12:12amCandy
there is just that much anyone outside can help him with that
12:13amSherina
he is quite blind
12:13amCandy
he agrees that i can do this and that (list the household chores that i know how to do)
after agreeing, he says " but i can do it myself"
like slap!
12:14amSherina
crazy
then why even marry?!?
DO EVERYTHING HIMSELF THEN
so selfish.
not sharing
12:18amSherina
then did you ask what he expects of a wife?!
like what does he expect?
or he doesn't want to get married?!
12:18amCandy
then i came up with this counterstatement which miracly work
quite insane
i simply said "but i need help! from u"
12:18amSherina
what's he thinking?
12:18amCandy
so surprised he didnt turn it down
i was thinking like u said, do it himself, y bother
12:19amSherina
i think he hasn't thought about marriage
in his entire life
and what it means you know?
12:20amCandy
he is just gg thru the process
and yet refusing to get t done
let me prepare myself with stuff i can use to counter him
12:20amSherina
i don't understand him.
12:20amCandy
let see...
how abt, if u see a gd thing u cannot dun take it, if u see money at your doorstep and there is no way u can trace its owner, u can leave it ther and not pick it up
thats' bad luck (must tap on his mum's superstition which shd have some deg of impact on him)
12:21amSherina
haha
you are really a good girl......
sigh.
i hope that you'll get what you want.
i think he doesnt have an objective and end product when he started this relationship
12:25amSherina
and would make a wonderful wife.
i think that's the problem.
12:26amCandy
idid and i even stated it out with him and gave him as long as he needed to get back to me
12:21amSherina
haha
you are really a good girl......
sigh.
i hope that you'll get what you want.
12:24amSherina
Candy dear.....i think i am heading off to bed.
i hope your problem will solve soon.
maybe some guys just don't want to get married?
i don't understand what he expects of a wife then.......
maybe he should think about it, and maybe he'll realize that you are wonderful
and would make a wonderful wife.
i think that's the problem.
12:26amCandy
i think he doesnt have an objective and end product when he started this relationship
idid and i even stated it out with him and gave him as long as he needed to get back to me and i think he got back to me out of sheer ego to prove to himself he is some strong guy
12:26amSherina
silly boy.
i think he should think about it and not waste your time.
he can waste his if he wants.
but it is not fair if he wastes yours and cause you so much sadness.
and the fengshui greeting thing is just silly.
i would be soooo unhappy if i were you, but it's good that you are so logical :) and calm :)
best of luck! :)
see you on face book again :)
night night Khim ;)
sleep tight and lots of sweet dreams to you ;)
bye! :)
byeeeee! :)
Candy?
got to go......me have dance lessons early morning.......bye dear ;)
i went to pray initially(i m not a temple gg person) then slowly his mum knew abt it, maybe it's my being too sensitive, i was at his house when she asked someone to "look at the fengshui"
11:55pmSherina
but there is nothing to throw away.
11:55pmCandy
then shifted things ard, i felt liek they'll measure me and tell him i m a jinx...
11:55pmSherina
except i will be spring cleaning my computer tomorrow.
11:55pmCandy
oh well, then i pretended i m not affected
then she sent a weird sms
11:55pmSherina
what?!?!
she what?!?!
say you are a jinx?!?!?
WHAT?
11:56pmCandy
his mum said " xintian dun ask him 'how r u', cos i went temple they say cannot ask"
she didnt say i m a jinx
11:56pmSherina
ok
good.
11:56pmCandy
i just felt insecure that they (supposedly know abt these superstitious thing) can claim i m (According to their std) a ad omen
i just was v angry
11:57pmSherina
that's stupid.
11:57pmCandy
how can anyone stop another from salutation?
11:57pmSherina
then you shouldn't date him.
idiots.
asking how someone is is concern!
like i ask my friends.....how are you?
how was your day?
11:57pmCandy
so i told her i dun like gg temple to ask for specific help because i m scared ppl will say i m a bad girl
11:57pmSherina
how was work today.
11:57pmCandy
then she replied"nonsense, dun listen"
11:57pmSherina
erm......you are far from bad girl.
11:58pmCandy
i was so angry i replied her " aunty when we go pray dont we want our life to become better, so we do what they say? for eg, not to ask how are u?"
11:58pmSherina
ya
11:58pmCandy
she is just slapping herself in her own fac
11:58pmSherina
and what did she say?!?
11:58pmCandy
and i m just too honest to tell her that
11:58pmSherina
i think that's silly.
11:58pmCandy
she stopped sms-ing totally
11:58pmSherina
are you sure you like the guy so much?
weird people.
what kind of logic is that?
11:59pmCandy
then i called alan and chatted on the phone like nothing happened btwn me and her
i told him that she sent me a sms which i cant understand and when i asked her she said " it was nothing"
12:00amSherina
and?
Today
12:00amCandy
i called to clarified (i suppose it's another temple say cant ask) she said " oh nothing, i just want to tell u wat i wrote on the sms(which is what i cant understand!)
she is weird
12:00amSherina
what temple is this?!?!
12:01amCandy
so i tot, since she into fengshui, i'd better at read read for some general knowledge in case they use it against me, like what i said they can make it up
so i found the spring cleaning book which makes sense
12:01amSherina
haha
12:01amCandy
it was an angmoh girl who wrote it, she says things like " not only fengshui, but it does make u feel better when u dun see a whole chunk of clutter in your house"
12:01amSherina
sorry my thing just closed by itself.
12:02amCandy
nvm
i m just rattling
12:02amSherina
ya........it helps me to throw stuff out when i am unhappy.
i do that all the time.....ramble......
haha ;)
i am sorry to hear that.
just make sure you really like him if you are going through all these ok?
12:02amCandy
i dun throw out, i just look at that and think if i throw out i may never get to see it again
yeah
i think his dad is more supportive
though quietly supportive
at least the dad doesnt behave fickle minded like the mum
12:03amSherina
sigh.
do you really like him?
you must since you are so caring
right?
12:05amCandy
i think he makes a stable husband, in that he just keeps life gg without being bothered with outside stuffs... but he sure is a lousy bf cos he isnt bothered with outside stuff
eg, ppl say he dun give present to me dun bother him
12:05amSherina
aiyo
you are very strong.
12:06amCandy
but it means if we were married, i just get his daily nec done and i m all free
12:06amSherina
i hope my husband will dote on me lots and lots
Today
12:12am
Sherina realizes that she rambles a lot..... :( maybe that's why all her students seem to love chatting with her?!?
11:44pmCandy
hey
11:44pmSherina
hi! :)
so fast :)
just showered.
11:44pmCandy
not slp yet?
11:44pmSherina
haha
11:44pmCandy
u take longer to shower rme?
11:44pmSherina
nah.........
11:44pmCandy
haha
:P
11:44pmSherina
ya......haven't you noticed already.....haha ;)
i shower very very long.
11:45pmCandy
haha
if i have a tub i will bathe v long though
i can soak in a tub for hours when i m abroad
11:45pmSherina
I have no bath tub sigh ;)
so you are teaching tomrorow?
11:46pmCandy
yeah
morning
9.30
which isnt early by my standards
i wake up at ard 7 am everyday
11:46pmSherina
wow you are really disciplined :)
11:46pmCandy
so i can do a little of serious stuff(as opposed to now, i m just relaxing in front of the comp
well, that happens when u grow up ur childhood with a mum who buys enuff canes to put one in each room
11:47pmSherina
haha so cute ;)
11:47pmCandy
and she will say, so u want me to use which colour(the handle of the cane is a coloured plastic
11:48pmSherina
wow......at least you have a choice.....huh?
;)
11:48pmCandy
yeah
i think she is so funny
11:49pmSherina
i have bad memory........i don't remember a lot of my childhood
just study study study
nerd nerd ;)
sigh.
you know my parents are happy we broke up :)
at least :)
11:49pmCandy
so u've done sth proud
11:50pmSherina
they say that they can tell that the guy is just too can't be bothered.
11:50pmCandy
yeah
they always side with us
cos we are their creation
11:50pmSherina
and they say that the parents probably don't like me because we live in hdb
sigh.
they live in landed.
11:50pmCandy
hmm...
11:50pmSherina
somewhere near 6th ave
oh well.
i am ok
11:51pmCandy
but dwelling is not nec an indication of wealth and status
11:51pmSherina
but i hope prince charming comes soon.
but his mother is really into the face thing.
11:51pmCandy
but how did u break up
u said he did lousy stuf
11:51pmSherina
i talked to him
11:51pmCandy
so u really said it straight?
11:51pmSherina
he didn't do anything lousy.
ya....he just didn't do anything.
period
i said it straight.
11:52pmCandy
i mean not doing anything is doing lousy thing
not doing is an action
ok whatever
hmm..
11:52pmSherina
unfortunately i am too straight and honest
that's the way i did it.
11:52pmCandy
but i m straight and honest too
11:52pmSherina
i kind of reasoned it out.
like because A then B
something like that.
11:52pmCandy
but i dun understand why my straight and honest still ends me twinning ard
11:52pmSherina
and you know.......he agreed with me!
aiyo.
11:53pmCandy
i m recently into fengshui
11:53pmSherina
isn't that exasperating.
he really didn't do anything.
i believe in fate.
11:53pmCandy
just to make myself have some non-logical logic to follow
11:53pmSherina
i hope fate says that prince charming will be here soon.
11:54pmCandy
so the first book i borrowed from library is called clear ur clutter with fengshui, it makes me motivated to just throw almost efverything away without feeling sad to waste
11:54pmSherina
you are so cute
i do that when i am upset.
haha my little secret.
haha ;)
11:55pmCandy
i went to pray initially(i m not a temple gg person) then slowly his mum knew abt it, maybe it's my being too sensitive, i was at his house when she asked someone to "look at the fengshui"
11:55pmSherina
but there is nothing to throw away.
11:55pmCandy
then shifted things ard, i felt liek they'll measure me and tell him i m a jinx...
11:55pmSherina
except i will be spring cleaning my computer tomorrow.
11:55pmCandy
oh well, then i pretended i m not affected
then she sent a weird sms
11:55pmSherina
what?!?!
she what?!?!
say you are a jinx?!?!?
WHAT?
11:56pmCandy
his mum said " xintian dun ask him 'how r u', cos i went temple they say cannot ask"
she didnt say i m a jinx
11:56pmSherina
ok
good.
11:56pmCandy
i just felt insecure that they (supposedly know abt these superstitious thing) can claim i m (According to their std) a ad omen
i just was v angry
11:57pmSherina
that's stupid.
11:57pmCandy
how can anyone stop another from salutation?
11:57pmSherina
then you shouldn't date him.
idiots.
asking how someone is is concern!
like i ask my friends.....how are you?
how was your day?
11:57pmCandy
so i told her i dun like gg temple to ask for specific help because i m scared ppl will say i m a bad girl
11:57pmSherina
how was work today.
11:57pmCandy
then she replied"nonsense, dun listen"
11:57pmSherina
erm......you are far from bad girl.
11:58pmCandy
i was so angry i replied her " aunty when we go pray dont we want our life to become better, so we do what they say? for eg, not to ask how are u?"
11:58pmSherina
ya
11:58pmCandy
she is just slapping herself in her own fac
11:58pmSherina
and what did she say?!?
11:58pmCandy
and i m just too honest to tell her that
11:58pmSherina
i think that's silly.
11:58pmCandy
she stopped sms-ing totally
11:58pmSherina
are you sure you like the guy so much?
weird people.
what kind of logic is that?
11:59pmCandy
then i called alan and chatted on the phone like nothing happened btwn me and her
i told him that she sent me a sms which i cant understand and when i asked her she said " it was nothing"
12:00amSherina
and?
Today
12:00amCandy
i called to clarified (i suppose it's another temple say cant ask) she said " oh nothing, i just want to tell u wat i wrote on the sms(which is what i cant understand!)
she is weird
12:00amSherina
what temple is this?!?!
12:01amCandy
so i tot, since she into fengshui, i'd better at read read for some general knowledge in case they use it against me, like what i said they can make it up
so i found the spring cleaning book which makes sense
12:01amSherina
haha
12:01amCandy
it was an angmoh girl who wrote it, she says things like " not only fengshui, but it does make u feel better when u dun see a whole chunk of clutter in your house"
12:01amSherina
sorry my thing just closed by itself.
12:02amCandy
nvm
i m just rattling
12:02amSherina
ya........it helps me to throw stuff out when i am unhappy.
i do that all the time.....ramble......
haha ;)
i am sorry to hear that.
just make sure you really like him if you are going through all these ok?
12:02amCandy
i dun throw out, i just look at that and think if i throw out i may never get to see it again
yeah
i think his dad is more supportive
though quietly supportive
at least the dad doesnt behave fickle minded like the mum
12:03amSherina
sigh.
do you really like him?
you must since you are so caring
right?
12:05amCandy
i think he makes a stable husband, in that he just keeps life gg without being bothered with outside stuffs... but he sure is a lousy bf cos he isnt bothered with outside stuff
eg, ppl say he dun give present to me dun bother him
12:05amSherina
aiyo
you are very strong.
12:06amCandy
but it means if we were married, i just get his daily nec done and i m all free
12:06amSherina
i hope my husband will dote on me lots and lots
12:06amCandy
i cook, he'll eat
12:06amSherina
and we'll do stuff together.
12:06amCandy
u know, he doesnt seem like some who'll refuse to eat just because its not their style
12:06amSherina
haha ;)
you have it all figured out i guess.
12:06amCandy
i cook, he'll eat
12:06amSherina
and we'll do stuff together.
12:06amCandy
u know, he doesnt seem like some who'll refuse to eat just because its not their style
12:06amSherina
haha ;)
you have it all figured out i guess.
12:07amCandy
and he seems like the kind who dun need me to do everything tgt
eg, i dun even think i need to tell him to buy household nec thing
12:07amSherina
you are so independent.
12:07amCandy
i think if i just mention say rice is
finishing, prolly he'll just buy it
u know what i mean
12:07amSherina
wow
12:08amCandy
i cant stand it if a guy who is a gd bf, when u are maried all he knows is still going out with u and playing,
12:08amSherina
ya
12:08amCandythen he isnt aware we need more toothpaste in the house
12:08amSherina
that's bad
12:08amCandy
then v sad right?
12:08amSherina
very
so have to marry the right person or divorce.
Candy
he may not b a v sensitive(At least he is super weak in showing it out), i think he is a highly pragmatc and functional person
12:09amSherina
that's good :) especially if it works for you. everyone needs different things from marriage and relationships :)
12:10amCandy
i saw his gd points being a husband, the
problem is, he doesnt make himself a husband
12:10amSherina
haha
so cute
you are so logical
12:11amCandy
i always think, if u are a lousy bf, and can very possibly be a gd husband, why not stop being a lousy bf and quickly go be a husband,
as soon as u've checked things out and confirmed they are fine, dun need to check, and double check so many times when such things ( like my qualities) dun change much within hours or days
12:12amSherina
he is so not confident of himself
i think you would make a great wife
12:12amCandy
there is just that much anyone outside can help him with that
12:13amSherina
he is quite blind
12:13amCandy
he agrees that i can do this and that (list the household chores that i know how to do)
after agreeing, he says " but i can do it myself"
like slap!
12:14amSherina
crazy
then why even marry?!?
DO EVERYTHING HIMSELF THEN
so selfish.
not sharing
12:18amSherina
then did you ask what he expects of a wife?!
like what does he expect?
or he doesn't want to get married?!
12:18amCandy
then i came up with this counterstatement which miracly work
quite insane
i simply said "but i need help! from u"
12:18amSherina
what's he thinking?
12:18amCandy
so surprised he didnt turn it down
i was thinking like u said, do it himself, y bother
12:19amSherina
i think he hasn't thought about marriage
in his entire life
and what it means you know?
12:20amCandy
he is just gg thru the process
and yet refusing to get t done
let me prepare myself with stuff i can use to counter him
12:20amSherina
i don't understand him.
12:20amCandy
let see...
how abt, if u see a gd thing u cannot dun take it, if u see money at your doorstep and there is no way u can trace its owner, u can leave it ther and not pick it up
thats' bad luck (must tap on his mum's superstition which shd have some deg of impact on him)
12:21amSherina
haha
you are really a good girl......
sigh.
i hope that you'll get what you want.
i think he doesnt have an objective and end product when he started this relationship
12:25amSherina
and would make a wonderful wife.
i think that's the problem.
12:26amCandy
idid and i even stated it out with him and gave him as long as he needed to get back to me
12:21amSherina
haha
you are really a good girl......
sigh.
i hope that you'll get what you want.
12:24amSherina
Candy dear.....i think i am heading off to bed.
i hope your problem will solve soon.
maybe some guys just don't want to get married?
i don't understand what he expects of a wife then.......
maybe he should think about it, and maybe he'll realize that you are wonderful
and would make a wonderful wife.
i think that's the problem.
12:26amCandy
i think he doesnt have an objective and end product when he started this relationship
idid and i even stated it out with him and gave him as long as he needed to get back to me and i think he got back to me out of sheer ego to prove to himself he is some strong guy
12:26amSherina
silly boy.
i think he should think about it and not waste your time.
he can waste his if he wants.
but it is not fair if he wastes yours and cause you so much sadness.
and the fengshui greeting thing is just silly.
i would be soooo unhappy if i were you, but it's good that you are so logical :) and calm :)
best of luck! :)
see you on face book again :)
night night Khim ;)
sleep tight and lots of sweet dreams to you ;)
bye! :)
byeeeee! :)
Candy?
got to go......me have dance lessons early morning.......bye dear ;)