From my friend, Jenn Chiang

These are called paraprosdokian sentences.
The first half has one meaning and the second half provides a whole new meaning.
I asked God for a bike but I know God doesn't work that way.
So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

Do not argue with idiots.
They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.
Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

Going to church doesn't make you a Christian
any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

The last thing I want to do is hurt you.
But it's still on the list.

Light travels faster than sound.
This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

If I agreed with you,
we'd both be wrong.

We never really grow up,
we only learn how to act in public.

War does not determine who is right,
only who is left.

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit.
Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

Politicians and diapers have one thing in common.
They should both be changed regularly and for the same reason.

The early bird might get the worm
but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening'
and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism.
To steal from man is research.

If God is watching us,
the least we can do is be entertaining.

A bus station is where a bus stops.
A train station is where a train stops.
On my desk, I have a work station.

If you think nobody cares if you're alive,
try missing a couple of payments.

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire
but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

Some people are like Slinkies... not really good for anything
but you can't help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.

Dolphins are smart,
within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish.

I thought I wanted a career;
turns out I just wanted pay cheques.

A bank is a place that will lend you money
if you can prove that you don't need it.

Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill
and a laxative on the same night.

I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.

I didn't say it was your fault;
I said I was blaming you.

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars
but check when you say the paint is wet.

Women will never be equal to men
until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president
and 50 for Miss America?

Behind every successful man is his woman.
Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

You do not need a parachute to skydive.
You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

The voices in my head may not be real
but they have some good ideas!

Always borrow money from a pessimist.
He won't expect it back.

Hospitality: making your guests feel like they're at home
even if you wish they were.

Money can't buy happiness
but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

I discovered I scream the same way
whether I'm about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.

Change is inevitable,
except from a vending machine.

A Fresh New Begining

After lofting around for many years since my graduation in 2006, I am finally set to take up a full time permanent job.

Well, I didn't lose much either, for the past years these are what I have been doing:
2006 Aug-Nov: 1st attempt at Relief Teaching in a Secondary School (Neighbourhood one somemore)

2007 Jan-Mar: Still relief teaching but at a school much nearer to my home, was pleased to hear that HOD finds me qualified to teach Add Math even though some perm school teachers aren't (not their fault, just that they didn't do Math up to Uni level, most of these have Math as 2nd teaching subjects, and are usually "stuck" at lower sec classes). Here I met my ex, was covering his class, was impressed by his sense of moral righteousness and hence fell in love and decide to grab him. SIGH

2007 Apr-Aug: Got a GREAT opportunity to relief teach at and independent school, a all-boys school. Met great colleagues who became good friends. Love the place but had to go to make space for prioritised people.

2007 Sep-Nov: Back to the near-to-home school, felt a little weird that they can actually allow relief teachers to invigilate the important end-of-year exam, but didn't think much of it then since I had the chance to get a few more days' pay.

2008 Jan-Oct: Happy that HOD got me to teach longer term, she had plan for me to stay for long and handle the not-so-nice students in hope they will turn good and score a little better for the exams. It did work, a part of these students turned for the better, some naughty ones continued to test waters for room to misbehave but had to give in to my consistency. However, the teaching term had to end. And I still didn't make it into NIE despite several attempts in application.

2009 Jan-Aug: Moved on to yet another school near my home, still with the hope that some form of help from the school principal can help me get into NIE. But here I was asked to teach English. Eventually, clash of conflict when the Maths department wanted me to do some work and English needed me too (not that I am that important or useful, just happen to be in the same time frame), and I ended up dismissed when more trainee came to test out the teaching scene.

2009 Sep-Dec: I was asked to be the in-house musician of a chinese restaurant, decided to give it a try since the pay is not too bad and I knew it is hard to get employed by schools near the end of the year. Unfortunately, the company ran out of funds and decide that it was not very useful to the sales having live music and decided to terminate my service.

2010: Private tutoring still goes on, with tuition centres as well. Even got the chance to teach in school's Chinese Orchestra. But these tend to have messy schedules and have off peak periods when no lesson equals no money. Finally, HOD invited (or rather dug out my application from I can't even remember when) me to join their school. Pay, benefits, work scope quite my cup of tea, far though--- in Kovan. I had to give in a little: some CO in the weekdays, a few tuition (good chance to rid of the less hopeful)

Here I am, with apprehensions to start my new teaching job, on Teachers' Day.

Japanese Food at Illuma again!

Last Saturday, I was at Illuma for the scan-your-order-from-the-menu japanese food restaurant again!

http://www.ebisboshishotengai.com/

This time we finally tried the Taiyaki, which is the traditional fish-shaped pan cake with red bean filling. There are other flavours to choose from as well.

Pictures of food and Menu

Here are 4 Photos, 2 from Malaysia with my ex-colleague Aida. Chicken from Kenny Rogers and Ice cream from Baskin Robbins.

Another 2 picture shows a menu from a Japanese Restaurant at Illuma top floor. PY and I were excited by the way we have to order using a scanning pen to touch on the menu and make our selection.

how to stay COOL in this HOT weather-PRELUDE

My inspiration to write this started off when I woke up on Wednesday morning, later than usual (for my weekly harmony class) soaked with perspiration and thus an itchy neck with rash.

Wednesdays has always ben my busiest yet most fulfiling day of the wee. I usual head off to my harmony teacher's place for a morning filled with musical thoughts and quality opinion exchange. Splendissimo!

Then I will go of for a nice (and usually expensive) lunch. Eating alone is always not easy to be cheap, consider the lunch crowd and no lunch buddy to reserve (or "chope) seats for you. I have thus learnt to live with eating at places where I can just stick out a finger and say "table for one, yes I am alone" and get air con and service and hopefully good enough food to match the bill.

After lunch would be a little time out for me to plan (maybe I should learn to just switch off for a while) the day and rest of the week till next wednesday, before heading off to tutor one of my secondary tutee's sister. Following her slot would be a class of Secondary 2 students.

Finally at 8pm, I head home for a unsually late dinner, which I always appreciate. And during this dinner I remorse over feeling angry that my mum scolds me for not puting effort into my cooking, especially when she comes home tired and have to eat my crap. I would better learn and discipline myself to get more organised with household chores and not compromise my own work.

And, before digressing too far, linking back to the topic: Wednesdays are long but it's always a day with all my activities in air conditioned places.

So on wednesday night, I googled options on how to keep cool without air con and was surprised to find HOMEMADE AIR CON! Basically, most posts include ideas of using ice or coolant and blowing air over it thus creating cool breeze. Here's the website:
http://www.instructables.com/id/Portable-12V-Air-Conditioner---Cheap-and-easy!/

Happy Birthday to me!

Cake from DAD!

Upcoming performance Events

Here's a list to update readers about my upcoming performances:

16th May 2010 (Sunday)10am
Open Space near Tiong Bahru Market
An event by the Tiong Bahru Community Club
I'll be the accompanist for Mr Guo Peng from Tianjin Conservatory who will solo on his erhu the piece Ah Mei Zu Wu Qu (The Ah Mei Tribe's Dance)

23rd May 2010 (Sunday) 8:30pm
Ritz Carlton Hotel, Grand Ballroom
80th Birthday of Kheng Keng Auto Pte Ltd
45 minutes show with a 3 piece chinese ensemble, playing chinese oldies and traditional pieces.