The bottom line is that love requires genuine effort. Cuddles and kisses go a long way toward making love last, but they aren't sufficient by themselves. Sometimes you need to get out and push (the car) [ironically, Dear's car 'died' before and couldn't start, I viewed it as a bad omen of myself being a jinx], if you want your love to keep going forward, which is why falling in love can occassionally be almost as exhausting as it is invigorating. This is one of the two main reasons why people turn their backs on love. It's hard enough taking responsibility for your own feelings, let alone looking after someone else's heart as well right?
The second reason people give up: FEAR. Fear of hurt, fear of rejection, fear of potential lovers who turn out to be evil people who take all the blankets during the night and squeeze the toothpaste from the middle. Fear is the #1 obstacle to falling in love. [I applaude for Dear for being so brave and confident to dare!]
But a little fear is not so terrible. In fact it is normal and healthy. Surely, no one likes to be naked and exposed or have their dirty linen hanging out in public.
The journey to true love is not as daunting as it seems. You don't have to lose yourself to find someone else. On the contrary, different points of view are every bit as important as the things you have in common.
Two Lives, One Love.
Your personality flourishes in a relationship, which brings out your best at home and at work. Falling in love means you still get to do everything that made you happy, but now you also have the joy of sharing those things with someone else. Plus, you get a whole bunch of bonus benefits as well:
~ to be continued~
Thursday, November 29, 2007
Yesterday and today
Yesterday went swimming with DEAR. Dear swam 20 laps and I did 13 half-laps (started at quarter mark and stopped at three-quarter mark). After that we went for lunch and went to Dear’s house, supposedly to look for a movie to watch, but ended up looking at his baby photo, more like toddler photo. Later, Dear sent me home to put out my swimsuit to dry. I invited him up to look at my baby photo. Dear found a few very cute and funny.
The one with many Chinese pastry (pong-piah) on my walker:
The one with many Chinese pastry (pong-piah) on my walker:
The grumpy girl on her one-year-old birthday:
After that, we went to walk in the malls, I had dinner and went for gamelan at NUS. Before dropping me off, we had a good time cuddling and kissing, not to mentioned that I discovered for myself what makes Dear “high”, haha. ;)
After that, we went to walk in the malls, I had dinner and went for gamelan at NUS. Before dropping me off, we had a good time cuddling and kissing, not to mentioned that I discovered for myself what makes Dear “high”, haha. ;)
-----~~~-----~~~~~-----
Today, Dear has to work. So I tried to tidy my house, threw away quite a bit of useless stuff, freeing up some space for putting things back into their proper position. Will work hard to make my house cosy because Dear is have a meet-parents session during Chinese new year.
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Swim again
Today I went swimming again with DEAR. I wore the new purple swimsuit I blogged about earlier.
---feeling drunk after drinking two kinds of wine with parents, will blog soon---
---feeling drunk after drinking two kinds of wine with parents, will blog soon---
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
From the "Simple Truth about LOVE"
Love inspires us to do great, beautiful, terrible things and a bunch of weird and stupid stuff. That’s because when we fall in love, our reasons and perspective become distorted, and we discover the lovers’ paradox. Suddenly, we have clear purpose, but we suffer overwhelming indecision. The affectionate attention we receive means we feel more self-affirmed and radiant than ever before, and yet we are sick with self-doubt and insecurity.
Personal grooming also takes on a fresh energy, sometimes to the point where we change virtually everything about our appearance that turned our admirer’s head in the first place.
Though it is wonderful in so many ways, falling in love can be a very unsettling experience. Poetic torment churns in your soul and keeps you from settling. Whenever you close your eyes, the object of your desire floats across a dreamscape towards your waiting lips. (I don’t really understand why the lips.) In fact, the only time we really wake up to reality is when the new lover is actually approaching.
Unfortunately, at that exact moment, your molecular structure turns into water. You try to stay calm and composed, endeavouring to present a picture of charisma and confidence. You fail. (but I think it’s ok)
All those breathless secrets in your heat that you rehearsed a thousand times and are now ready to share gently with a tender ear, you suddenly blurt out, sounding like a race caller from an ancient civilisation.
Really think about your feelings. Run through a few emotional scenarios in your mind and see how they look and feel. There’s a reason we feel so shy when we first meet someone special. Both people are seriously checking each other out, looking for and revealing some very personal information. The process is all about trust. Slowly, we get closer and closer. Some things just shouldn’t be rushed, and love is always worth waiting for.
In its early stages, love is beyond wonderful. Each moment together feels like a passionate embrace in a magic forest. You gallop tirelessly in perpetual and blessed sunshine, your feet a few inches above the ground. In other words, our perceptions of ourselves and our beloved can become a touch idealised.
We tend to forget that Romeo and Juliet DID NOT, in actual fact, end all that well.
The truth is that love is always beautiful, and may even feel perfect. But it can never be so, not all the time. Falling in love is an exquisite but complex coming together of two individuals, and in a beautiful, dynamic living relationship always has some ups and downs.
The irritating thing about falling in love is that you don’t suddenly get transported to the mythical Kingdom of Coupledom, where everything is designed to make your relationship perfect. Two independently minded people usually have similar but slightly different needs, and these differences keep us on our toes. Surprises keep your love exciting and fresh.
Personal grooming also takes on a fresh energy, sometimes to the point where we change virtually everything about our appearance that turned our admirer’s head in the first place.
Though it is wonderful in so many ways, falling in love can be a very unsettling experience. Poetic torment churns in your soul and keeps you from settling. Whenever you close your eyes, the object of your desire floats across a dreamscape towards your waiting lips. (I don’t really understand why the lips.) In fact, the only time we really wake up to reality is when the new lover is actually approaching.
Unfortunately, at that exact moment, your molecular structure turns into water. You try to stay calm and composed, endeavouring to present a picture of charisma and confidence. You fail. (but I think it’s ok)
All those breathless secrets in your heat that you rehearsed a thousand times and are now ready to share gently with a tender ear, you suddenly blurt out, sounding like a race caller from an ancient civilisation.
Really think about your feelings. Run through a few emotional scenarios in your mind and see how they look and feel. There’s a reason we feel so shy when we first meet someone special. Both people are seriously checking each other out, looking for and revealing some very personal information. The process is all about trust. Slowly, we get closer and closer. Some things just shouldn’t be rushed, and love is always worth waiting for.
In its early stages, love is beyond wonderful. Each moment together feels like a passionate embrace in a magic forest. You gallop tirelessly in perpetual and blessed sunshine, your feet a few inches above the ground. In other words, our perceptions of ourselves and our beloved can become a touch idealised.
We tend to forget that Romeo and Juliet DID NOT, in actual fact, end all that well.
The truth is that love is always beautiful, and may even feel perfect. But it can never be so, not all the time. Falling in love is an exquisite but complex coming together of two individuals, and in a beautiful, dynamic living relationship always has some ups and downs.
The irritating thing about falling in love is that you don’t suddenly get transported to the mythical Kingdom of Coupledom, where everything is designed to make your relationship perfect. Two independently minded people usually have similar but slightly different needs, and these differences keep us on our toes. Surprises keep your love exciting and fresh.
Sunday, November 25, 2007
Shoes...
Yesterday DEAR took me to Queensway Shopping Centre to buy sports shoe. In the end I bought a Reebok Premium Trainer II Mid, though I really liked the Premium Trainer Low. It was a good deal, priced at S$79.90, managed to get a 20% discount and ended paying S$63 for it.
The one I bought:
The one I bought:
The one I liked:
Today we went to play pool, for some reason I didn't really feel like playing after a very short while, probably PMS? DEAR's friend just had a one month old baby, so we went shopping for baby's present. It kind of feel weird but at the same time good. It's a feeling that is rather hard to describe.
Thursday, November 22, 2007
Free to learn
I have been staying at home jobless-ly for more than a month. Other than doing the usual dinner music on a ship that provides buffet dinner to its customer and I provide the music as part of a Trio, I basically am a good-for-nothing, not-earning-anything bum.
I think I should take the free time before I get a job to equip myslf with some skills. Perhaps I should build up more songs in my gig repertoire, choose more of those English, Jazzy, Lounge music kind. I should just grab some ready scores with jazz notation, learn how to read jazz chords and first practise a few popular songs, then transpose from my piano scores some of the more upbeat dance songs like tango, cha-cha, flameco and stuffs like that, since my aim to to get a better gig environment such as a hotel lounge.
Also since it would be too late to register for driving lesson now (reason being that there will be a little lag time between registration and actually starting of lesson, so I should always try to speculate in advance when is my free period that I can learn the fastest and get it done.) Hence, the best thing I might be able to do to build up some grounding might be to read on my own first, and also decide whether I want to do manual or auto, and also which kind of car I would like to save $ for, a hunchback or a bigger one that can transport my yangqin? The yangqin part might depend on whether I'd still want to be earning from gigs. The manual gear might mean I can drive daddy's van.
Anyone has ideas? or comment?
I think I should take the free time before I get a job to equip myslf with some skills. Perhaps I should build up more songs in my gig repertoire, choose more of those English, Jazzy, Lounge music kind. I should just grab some ready scores with jazz notation, learn how to read jazz chords and first practise a few popular songs, then transpose from my piano scores some of the more upbeat dance songs like tango, cha-cha, flameco and stuffs like that, since my aim to to get a better gig environment such as a hotel lounge.
Also since it would be too late to register for driving lesson now (reason being that there will be a little lag time between registration and actually starting of lesson, so I should always try to speculate in advance when is my free period that I can learn the fastest and get it done.) Hence, the best thing I might be able to do to build up some grounding might be to read on my own first, and also decide whether I want to do manual or auto, and also which kind of car I would like to save $ for, a hunchback or a bigger one that can transport my yangqin? The yangqin part might depend on whether I'd still want to be earning from gigs. The manual gear might mean I can drive daddy's van.
Anyone has ideas? or comment?
countdown to 23rd Nov
I am counting down to 23d Nov. Reason? DEAR is ending reservist that day which means we will (hopefully) have more time together to have fun and also to dicuss serious stuffs if necessary. Counting and counting, just one more day!~ WoHoo!~
Anyway I only have this little time left to accomplish my task of getting myself a pair of comfortable shoes. The Reebok Premium trainer lo is the last pair at BPP and alas, one white one yellowish so I didn't accept it. Went BATA on my way to NUS, power shoe not as comfortable though only $25, I guess I should spend a little more to invest in more comfy shoes.
Anyway I only have this little time left to accomplish my task of getting myself a pair of comfortable shoes. The Reebok Premium trainer lo is the last pair at BPP and alas, one white one yellowish so I didn't accept it. Went BATA on my way to NUS, power shoe not as comfortable though only $25, I guess I should spend a little more to invest in more comfy shoes.
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
Flu... *cough cough*
Down with flu last week but still had to work hard at trying to get a job. I always think after we sow our seeds (the applications) we should wait for it to grow (get response). Why is everyone pushing me and lamenting that I am staying home and not working hard to get a job?
Just got an opportunity for a long term lounge music gig. It's going to be a 3-Girl-Band if it works out. I liked the terms, few hours at night everyday, more than $1k a month (monthly salary), but I don't like the lady boss who is going to be one of the musicians. All of a sudden I felt that the musician's job on ship though miserably paid, still makes me feel much better than working with strangers who seem to be unwilling to take me in but pretend to be nice.
Yesterday went for audition for the above job, I was filled with ambivilance, one hand I hope I can get to work there at Marina Mandarin Bar/ Lounge, one the other hand I foresee I'll be rather unhappy with my company due to the fact that she is my "boss"'s woman, won't look nice to offend her. Maybe I should get myself better agents? Or be like her, get a sugar daddy and make him my agent? Or maybe totally quit fromthe scene and get a better job, as people say, I am educated, why stoop so low?
I can only say that music is one thing that can make me really happy, but it can also make me really sad. What can make you can break you.
Just got an opportunity for a long term lounge music gig. It's going to be a 3-Girl-Band if it works out. I liked the terms, few hours at night everyday, more than $1k a month (monthly salary), but I don't like the lady boss who is going to be one of the musicians. All of a sudden I felt that the musician's job on ship though miserably paid, still makes me feel much better than working with strangers who seem to be unwilling to take me in but pretend to be nice.
Yesterday went for audition for the above job, I was filled with ambivilance, one hand I hope I can get to work there at Marina Mandarin Bar/ Lounge, one the other hand I foresee I'll be rather unhappy with my company due to the fact that she is my "boss"'s woman, won't look nice to offend her. Maybe I should get myself better agents? Or be like her, get a sugar daddy and make him my agent? Or maybe totally quit fromthe scene and get a better job, as people say, I am educated, why stoop so low?
I can only say that music is one thing that can make me really happy, but it can also make me really sad. What can make you can break you.
Monday, November 12, 2007
Work, Shop
11-11-2007
Today was such a nicely laid out day. First thing in the morning, the MPM math class had only slightly over 10 students, with a number of them taking a break for the holiday months (so that they do not need to pay) or others going on overseas trips. Finally our Sunday morning class has the correct teacher-student ratio. Sad to say last week when I did a swap for a colleague, she also had a smaller-than-usual crowd, thus I can’t dream that she can provide the supporting evidence that the crowded group with its staggering arrival is difficult to handle to efficiency. With only a manageable handful of “rascals” to handle, we were able to get most of them to finish work by 11am. All of us were happy. =) Happily I went home for my lunch. When was the last time I was so relaxed? I cannot quite remember.
On my way home, was hoping to get more job opportunities (now that I am officially jobless), I decided to SMS my dinner music boss cum agent to indicate my availability tonight and my being highly interested to work. And it worked! At slightly past noon I was informed that I could work tonight; another $30 to my “shoe fund” to buy that discounted Reebok Premium (Cross-)Trainer low at Royal Sporting House at $49.90.
Lunch was the delicious fish soup (which I always remember that it’s DEAR’s favourite but he’ll probably not get to taste my mum’s fish soup anytime soon), after that was lazing about the house, a little on the bed, a little on the sofa with the TV… … Then it’s time for fruits when dad woke from his nap. Then time for popiah, and I decided to go out a little early to shop around a bit.
I was very tempted to buy the $10 funfit bikini from OG after seeing it on Friday a few minutes before the store closes for the day (I went there after work on ship you see). Instead I missed a 190 bus and took a 700A which I decided to alight at the OG Orchard. There was a usual auntie-crowd as with any sale season. Looking around a bit at shoes, then decided to head straight to the swim wear. This store has much more stock laid out. Choosing 2 sets of bikini of S size which I think I might like I decided to take a look at their Triumph offers. Pretending to rummage a bit of the $29.90-39.90 tankini, the sales lady came to promote her only-two-pieces-left $19.90 one piece swimsuits. She urged me to try them. What’s the harm I thought, since I have to try the Fun fit bikini anyway. I had just bought an Arena one-piece at 50% off while trying to shop for shoes but RSH was closed for stock-take. In the end I bought a purple $19.90 Triumph one-piece.
Today was such a nicely laid out day. First thing in the morning, the MPM math class had only slightly over 10 students, with a number of them taking a break for the holiday months (so that they do not need to pay) or others going on overseas trips. Finally our Sunday morning class has the correct teacher-student ratio. Sad to say last week when I did a swap for a colleague, she also had a smaller-than-usual crowd, thus I can’t dream that she can provide the supporting evidence that the crowded group with its staggering arrival is difficult to handle to efficiency. With only a manageable handful of “rascals” to handle, we were able to get most of them to finish work by 11am. All of us were happy. =) Happily I went home for my lunch. When was the last time I was so relaxed? I cannot quite remember.
On my way home, was hoping to get more job opportunities (now that I am officially jobless), I decided to SMS my dinner music boss cum agent to indicate my availability tonight and my being highly interested to work. And it worked! At slightly past noon I was informed that I could work tonight; another $30 to my “shoe fund” to buy that discounted Reebok Premium (Cross-)Trainer low at Royal Sporting House at $49.90.
Lunch was the delicious fish soup (which I always remember that it’s DEAR’s favourite but he’ll probably not get to taste my mum’s fish soup anytime soon), after that was lazing about the house, a little on the bed, a little on the sofa with the TV… … Then it’s time for fruits when dad woke from his nap. Then time for popiah, and I decided to go out a little early to shop around a bit.
I was very tempted to buy the $10 funfit bikini from OG after seeing it on Friday a few minutes before the store closes for the day (I went there after work on ship you see). Instead I missed a 190 bus and took a 700A which I decided to alight at the OG Orchard. There was a usual auntie-crowd as with any sale season. Looking around a bit at shoes, then decided to head straight to the swim wear. This store has much more stock laid out. Choosing 2 sets of bikini of S size which I think I might like I decided to take a look at their Triumph offers. Pretending to rummage a bit of the $29.90-39.90 tankini, the sales lady came to promote her only-two-pieces-left $19.90 one piece swimsuits. She urged me to try them. What’s the harm I thought, since I have to try the Fun fit bikini anyway. I had just bought an Arena one-piece at 50% off while trying to shop for shoes but RSH was closed for stock-take. In the end I bought a purple $19.90 Triumph one-piece.
Showed off to my mum of my good catch. She was impressed at the price! But I did not tell her of the Arena one bought just a few days back or she’ll bite my head off and yell at me for thinking I have too much cash to spare while missing a job. Haha.
Friday, November 9, 2007
Fantastic movie
When your loved on crossed the boundary, she/he'll turn into stardust. A star can only shine when it's heart is not broken...
Today is DEAR's off day from his three week long reservist, standing guard onboard the ship, which unfortunately isn't the same one that I sail one when I play music for money. We were at Tampines mall watching the movie Stardust. As Eileen mentioned in her blog, the fantasy movie was indeed a vert charmingly romantic one. I really enjoyed it.
Today is DEAR's off day from his three week long reservist, standing guard onboard the ship, which unfortunately isn't the same one that I sail one when I play music for money. We were at Tampines mall watching the movie Stardust. As Eileen mentioned in her blog, the fantasy movie was indeed a vert charmingly romantic one. I really enjoyed it.
After the movie, we went hunting for a nice-to-walk-in pair of shoe for me to wear to the vietnam trip but to no avail as usual. I think DEAR must be really bored that our search is always unfruitful. Haha.
Anyway I loved his company and I think he likes mine too, especially wen he misses me during his reservist period. =)
Thursday, November 1, 2007
Ups and Downs
I'm pms-ing here in front of the laptop in the middle of the night at 2.03am sigh sigh sigh...
This is probably due to the fact that I had a busy weekend since last friday 26th Oct till Monday 29th Oct and a little unsettled on Tuesday settle untamed ends of my life.
DEAR will be going on reservist on 7th Nov which is the coming Wednesday, therefore now he has loads to get done (so that these things need not bug him and get carried over the time) before he goes off. That means less time for me :( and it doesn't help that there was a last minute meeting this afternoon for him and thus an project presentation to churn out; there goes our pre-negotiated shopping trip. He did not join me for music jamming at night as well. I was a little disappointed.
I was also a little unsettled with the fact that we had some miscommunication and a slight dispute over the complimentary tickets to this Sunday's concert due to several issues and repercussions which I (over-proportionately) foresee. I felt very sorry to have used such a harsh tone on my dearest DEAR, was hoping to be able to make up for it and be a nice little woman on our "outing" but too bad it was cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances.
Life is full of ups and downs and relationship is a part of my life... so... I guess, the journey had jsut begun. Good Luck to me!~
This is probably due to the fact that I had a busy weekend since last friday 26th Oct till Monday 29th Oct and a little unsettled on Tuesday settle untamed ends of my life.
DEAR will be going on reservist on 7th Nov which is the coming Wednesday, therefore now he has loads to get done (so that these things need not bug him and get carried over the time) before he goes off. That means less time for me :( and it doesn't help that there was a last minute meeting this afternoon for him and thus an project presentation to churn out; there goes our pre-negotiated shopping trip. He did not join me for music jamming at night as well. I was a little disappointed.
I was also a little unsettled with the fact that we had some miscommunication and a slight dispute over the complimentary tickets to this Sunday's concert due to several issues and repercussions which I (over-proportionately) foresee. I felt very sorry to have used such a harsh tone on my dearest DEAR, was hoping to be able to make up for it and be a nice little woman on our "outing" but too bad it was cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances.
Life is full of ups and downs and relationship is a part of my life... so... I guess, the journey had jsut begun. Good Luck to me!~
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